Had a short chat with you last night, a small talk, study, the recent and the future. All of sudden, tears flow, and i dunno the exact reason for the tears. Perhaps because of your recent unluckiness, nothing seems easy for you ever since you came back. God must be planning to make you a tougher person, for all the problems you have gone through. I always have faith in you, thou you break promise sometimes, but i still believe in you. Perhaps, when you ask me to take care of myself, when you cannot take care of me anymore. I smile to you, told you my mom still gonna take care of me :) I do not know have you ever regretted for coming back, but i do know you miss UK a lot, as much as i do. I was attempted to persuade you to stay, but i failed. You are the reason for me to come home.
I can't help myself started to imagine that if we were still there, we might find a new job or still looking for one, i guess we might move to somewhere else, London maybe, one of my favourite city. We might be still living like we used to be, doing some little crazy stuff, something spontaneously. I might be a wife-to-be, waiting for you to come back from work, making dinner for you, and you'll be making breakfast for me. We can still kiss and hug like no one around on the street, it's not malaysia. Or maybe, we might be struggling for a living, life isn't easy all the time, especially when we gonna work hard to earn for a living. If we were still there, i wanna lying on the park, reading a book with a cup of coffee, or not doing anything, enjoying the cold breeze, and when i need something warm, i'll look for you.
What if... it's kind of beautiful to imagine isn't it? It gone wild, but it's only if. We have made the decision, we can't turn back the time, so we move forward.
I thought my tears dried but it's falling again. It wasn't a bad thing, the tears made me feel human again.
You ask me to pray to God for a good night sleep, i ain't gonna do it, cause i just have something more important to pray for :)
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