A day trip to Sekinchan, a short escape that i needed, to get me out of my messy life, temporarily. I've been stucked in all the mess in my life. People will only see me, physically, not knowing my inner complication, guess that i must be hiding it very well. I feel, so-not-me. I no longer can cry so easily, to be exact, i no longer have tears. When i feel like crying, the tears reluctant to fall and there's no other way to express my sorrow, except blogging i guess. I feel numb, can't feel anything inside, or perhaps, the heart is missing. But, thank god i'm still able to smile, is that means i'm gonna face all these with my smile, despite sad or happy :)
I've read a story, a mental patient thought himself as a mushroom, squatting at a corner, not eating or drinking, acted like a real mushroom. Then his psychiatrist, follows him, also squatting beside him. The patient asked the psychiatrist: "Who are you?", the psychiatrist answered:"I'm a mushroom too". The patient nodded and continue to be a mushroom. After a while, the psychiatrist stood up and started to walk around the room, the patient asked: "Aren't you a mushroom, how can you walk around?", the psychiatrist replied: "Why can't a mushroom walk!". The patient found it makes sense, so he also started to walk around. After that, the psychiatrist began to eat, the patient asked again:"How can you eat as a mushroom?", "Mushroom can definitely eat!" the psychiatrist answered. Thus, the patient started to eat too. After a few weeks, the patient is recovered and live like an ordinary people, eventhough he still thinks he is a mushroom.
We could continue to live with the wounds in the past, as long as the pains do not affected our whole life, we can still carry on, live happily every after. So yea, i'm a mushroom.
Wounds are recovering, though the scars might leave. Or i should say, the scars will always remain there. There're options of conceal it or leave it and accept it, aikss, i hate scars.
Anyway, to whosoever reading this and thinks i'm not alright, i'm actually fine here :) i'm a tougher mushroom.
p/s: I shall write the whole trip out after i arrange the 1200++ photos, provides that i have the time and mood ><
=) Although sometimes i know about dear's inner side.. Or sometimes maybe I couldn't understand.. But however it is, ur post touched me. I think I can be the psychiatrist who squat beside u, and tell u that i'm a mushroom too =)
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