On the verge of breaking down..

There's so much craziness, surrounding me
There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me
You made it real for me


The head is strong, but the heart is weak
Why can't the tears just flow to heal the heart

The space you left behind

Empty. I finally found the word. Nothing could ever fill the space, the emptiness is too great to fill. No matter how hard i try to run away from you, yet you are still the one i'm seeking for comfort, contradiction i know.

Please allow me to stay in the arms slightly longer this time, let the restless mind subsides.

                                                                                                                               Fallen angel,   

Getaway

If only the holiday could last a little bit longer, to be detached from the messy reality.

Yet i know, i could never stay away even the option is given. 

The nostalgia

Went back to a place where i used to stay for the past 9 years in my life by chance. It never really belonged to us, we rented it, and we did not buy it at last, but home is where the family is, so it was home. For as long as i remember, we have shifted from home to home due to some reasons, for few times. I was young at the keep-shifting-period, fortunately, so parents were the one doing the packing. From my primary to secondary school, this is the place where i called home, from a small little girl to grown up teenage girl, spending the most carefree and jovial moment in my life. The ages that free from troubles and worries, the biggest concern was only the fringe that could never be tidily combed. The sweet seventeen.

Time brings changes in places and people, but the memories remain. I still remember the masak-masak and lego playing time with brothers, attempted cleaning the living room when parents were away, stealthy novels reading when mom forcing me to bed, never ending phone calls, owning my very first tortoise pets, the indistinction of love and friendship. Sweet little times i had :)

From Taman Ranting to Permas Jaya to Sri Petaling to Balakong to Kajang to Hatfield, every places remind me the different stages of my life. Looking back the path i've walked, it wasn't too many obstacles nor challenges, and i still meet good people from place to place, i'm lucky enough i guess. Thank God for all the blessings :)

Miss me when I'm not here ;)

Few more hours to go I'll be standing on the land of a different country. A long-waited getaway but at this moment I'm not quite sure is it coming on the right time. I have the urge to stay here just because someone might need my existence. A silly thought I know, and it's just a thought, i'll still on my way to my sky blue beach holiday. Good night my love.

Life is busy..

Didn't really have the chance to spend time with my mac, has been busy throughout the weekend, and i guess this busyness will continue till the end of May.

Let's do some quick updates :)

Last friday was the last day of dear's finals, after so long we finally met up and it's kinda like small celebration of exam over for her :) As usual we did some chats and catch up, then at night hang of with Jw.  Korean food for dinner and instead of drinking, we went for a midnight movie, Water for Elephants, still couldn't get the ticket for Fast 5 >< Well, it is definitely not a movie for most of the guys i know, but i'm loving the story, plus Robert Pattinson is hot there!! There's only less than 10 people in the cinema and it's so damn cold that dear and i gonna share a small piece of cardigan just to keep us slightly warmer for a short period cause we took turns to wear it!! And the climax of the night is, we couldn't find the way out to the parking, not familiar with IOI and we did some exercises by walking down and climbing up the escalators. We ended up taking the cargo lift down to the ground floor, walking out from the goods unloading entrance, then walk all the way to the car parks, how funny!

7/10 in my very own opinion  + look at someone silly smile :p

Saturday is another catch up day, but before that, me and Jing and Yvo went to Midvalley for lunch and teatime, brought them to try Chatime, my recent favourite, always long queue at MV and the tea Yvo wanna try is finished! Then the evening was the time for my guys, an unofficial birthday celebration for KK, with Song and WL. After the free dinner *wink*, went for a drink at Zouk.... cafe, Song and I just wished it's not the cafe, aiksss ><

the day and night

Sunday is family day :) I still woke for the morning class ~hardworking mood~ but skipped the evening one as we were going back Malacca for a late-Mothers' Day celebration with grandma and aunts. It's been a long time that we could spend time together, like a family short trip. Even without DSLR, Chun and i still snapping pictures around with phones and surprisingly we have found good backgrounds as i mentioned in my previous post :) Looking at my still-healthy-families, there's really nothing much can make me happier at the moment.

On the way..

Monday was another catch-up day, meeting up with my long-time-no-see friend, Y.Ren. We went to MV again to surprise Yen, I can see her happy smiling face X) Without any plans, we really almost going to Kuala Selangor for fireflies at the evening, but it's raining *sobs* Well, we have no choice but to stay at Kay Elleee for dinner. An Italian dinner just swept away my tiny disappointment on fireflies, and the chats carry on from the dinner table to the bar of beers, small talks and some drinking games adding lotsa fun for us :)

Tuesday finally staying at home, spent some times with mom and had a good rest. When i thought this is the only day i could i stay at home, someone insist to meet up at night to discuss about the trip. Few days left to our trip, and by doing some research finally the feeling of excitement started to arise. Looking forward for it now.

Wednesday, a private birthday celebration for my dear, plan a day out for her, went for handmade coffees, a nice cafe, shopping the all time favourite, taking lotsa picsss. Basically, just eat and shop the whole day, nothing really special, what's really matter it's the time we spent and the things we did, and the happiness is within us :) Happy Belated Birthday my dear <3

Unexpectation.

the evening nap :)

An evening back to the hometown. The gains are not solely about the time spending with the families, but i found this little kitty and the wall. The colours are just nice. People always say, no expectation, no disappoinment. But life is full of surprises, that's why i've learn there's always little surprise when you never expect..

♥ the background

Strangers, again

The stages that every relationship would have to go through. Two very different person, from strangers to lovers, then lovers to strangers. How ironic. Some says this is the inevitable matter in life. Fates bring us together yet draw us apart, or perhaps, we are the one opt out. Do we really have an option? Or we just blame it on fate.

It's a never ending-thinking game. I'm gonna pause it for some times.


p/s: everyone is sharing this fb, i just wanna post it here, to keep a copy for myself.

I saw an angel..

By chance dear's cousin had just delivered a baby girl this morning, so i've got to see this not-even-one-day-old baby by following dear. She's so tiny, 2.7kg+, slightly heavier than my baby-weight :p She must be very lucky to be born in this big family cause i'm quite sure she will be loved and pampered by all the family members, from parents, grandparents, to the relatives. What a happy girl :)

Life is so amazing.

So i'm happy? satisfied? touched?

I really couldn't find a word to tell you how exactly i feel when i saw the baby.

xx

p/s: but i do afraid of the pain suffering by the mother on the process of giving birth, though it's a joyful suffering ><

Sunset, Twilight

Used to addict to photos, every photo has its own story, and the addiction is getting worse after i fall in love with lomo cam. 

So I stop, snap and capture the moment. 

My recent love, the twilight.

Happy Mother's Day

We had an earlier celebration on Mother's day this year. As usual i'm the one doing the present-preparing and venue-deciding. Instead of the one day celebration, this year is more like a 3 days continuous of celebration. We have a formal one on saturday, dinner on sunday and a hanging out evening on monday. Tried lots of good food, mom should be happy, but i know that she's even happier for the time spending with her beloved children :)

I have to admit that, my mom is definitely not those super-cool mother. She's stubborn, never listen even i try to communicate with her. She's super long-winded, she can just non-stop complaining or scolding us when she dislike something about us. She's very conservative, she thinks girl would have to do all the housework but not the boys. Couldn't tell you how many times i'm mad at her, but no one is perfect in this world, so do you and me, all i know is, she's the one taking care of us all year long ever since we were born. She's the one waking up early everyday just to wake all of us up for classes and outings. She's the one keep thinking what to cook for tomorrow breakfast and dinner everyday, for the picky children. She's the one so stingy, not even willing to spend a cent on herself, yet she will buy anything which is necessary for us. She's the one always have faith in us even we have let her down few times, she's the one will be so proud for our success, she's the one always forgive for our mistakes, she's the one never stop worrying, she's the one never fail to be there when we needed suport, she's the one we can always rely on as she will never betray our trusts. She's the one wanting the best for her children, she's the one always put her children on the very top of her priority. Yes, she is my mom. 

I don't have any great story of my mother to share with you, but every single little thing she did just matter to me.

Lurve u mommy ♥

Some people might just shut his mother out from his world, not knowing that he means the world to her. Be grateful that you could still celebrate the mother's day with your mom, cause someone out there might not. 

Don't you wanna stay?

The stagnant air on the balcony seems to freeze my mind for a moment, everything stays still, except me and you. When the world seems to get quiet, the words from you have never been so clear to me before. At this very moment i just wanna concentrate on my senses instead of my mind, and i'm still amazed that you are the only person can stop me from thinking, even me also failed to do so. So who cares about tomorrow? It just doesn't really matter right here and now. I'm in love with this.

So they said watching sunset together is a matter of romance, then what about witnessing the twilight?

It's saturday!

A 2 days-off weekend is definitely a wishful thinking for a CLP student, and i insist to emphasize that we even have class on public holiday!! We have got long hours classes ever since the start and it only gets longer hours for the revision class now :(

It's been awhile since the last time we skip class, together. Ya we did skip class separately due to some personal reason, but today, opps we did it again. By the way, we (or me) have try the best not to skip class anymore, so, today's just an exception, since we have got the notes for the skipping class. And we are so happy for this spontaneous decision :)

Since i only left one more hour to sleep, gotta wake up at 7 for class later, i have to make this short. Special thanks to Jing and Yvonne, they accompanied me the whole evening to shop for my present for mom and the casing for my new toy :) I've got what i wanted today, the present, the devil casing, the happiness of skipping class and the pleasure time i spent my dear friends, so, i'm a happieee girl today.

and i'm so addicted with the lomo-ish photos now

New Toy

After a night of waiting, i've finally got my new phone :) but this also kinda means my jet is dying. I still love jet so much even he's no longer my top favourite now, he used to be my all time companion, we have good memories, so i'm not gonna let him die like this, gonna bring him doctor soon.

Back to the main topic, my new baby born on 5th of May, what a nice date. My friends actually texting me once the phone is launched at the evening. I was intended to grab it yesterday, but i was late, can't tell you how sad i was when i was told i couldn't get it that day. Yea, i was sad until we went drinking last night, haha lame excuse i know :p plus, my alcohol tolerance seems to be a little improved as i wasn't too tipsy after i drank, cheers xD Well, and i was *ahem* too excited like a small kid going to a class trip on the next day *hmm* till i couldn't sleep, even i only went to bed at 6 in the morning with an exhausted body *blushed*  And i woke at 9, didn't sleep much, mom accompanied me to collect it. Dang dang :)

 my new baby, isn't it beautiful :)

Have a little thought today, i always get what i wanted initially in the end. My primary school ambition was to become a lawyer, though i changed during my secondary school and never thought it could be, but guess what, i'm a law graduate now, halfway to the path of lawyer, if i can make it, finger crossed. Few years back, when i was buying my first ever laptop, mac is my dream but no one agrees, so i went for my pinky toshiba, i have to say it's really a nice laptop, however it was stolen and i'm still heartache for it, but i got my mac now. And the recent one, i always wanted iphone 4 white, but i convinced myself to be patiently waiting for iphone 5, however my jet spoiled unexpectedly, so yea, there comes my baby :)

I guess things in life have their own routines, they come to you so closely and you thought you could almost hold them, but somehow they leave, so you stop dreaming about them, and yet they might come back to you eventually, now it's your turn to catch them, or not, the destiny.
Maybe that's what i should do/ doing.

Allow me continue basking in the joy of my new baby x)

Who said nights were for sleep

Finally, I manage to upload my Sekinchan photos to facebook, finally found one software to add the watermarks on the photos. It proved my determination if i really wanna do something, but i'm so lazy to edit the photos again after the time i spent on the watermarks thingy :p so, the photos are original ;)

I always awake at this hour, everyone is sleeping, the night is silent. The hands of the clock seem to move a little bit slower, so i could indulge myself in this carefree moments slightly longer. Tonight i'm not alone, the rhythm of the rain has accompanied me all night, so do the photos. Despite that i might be regretted for not sleeping earlier in few years later, for the obvious signs of aging that might have occurred, or not, i'm actually enjoying the nights, ever since i fell in love with the feeling of staying awake during midnights.

Everyone is about to wake up, or they are actually waking up now. It's time for me to go to bed, i just live like a medieval vampire living in a castle, gonna go back to the coffin before the first ray of the sun shine into the room. Goodnight.

Wake me up by with your lips later, would you? 

xx

My kind of weekend.

There goes the torturing weekend classes, the classes weren't so bad, but how could an ordinary people stand such 8 hours classes which non-stop bombing you the so called possible answer in the exam. I must be thankful that Yvonne is still with me in the class, where i can always refer to her when i miss out some points. I really HATE classes on weekend, it ruins my family day, and now they even deprive us of PUBLIC HOLIDAY, CLP sucks :(

 I'll give a 5 or 6/10. Not a must-watch movie for me.

Hanging out with friend is always the fastest way to get me out from the boring-stressful CLP student life. Went for a movie today, THOR, watching it because of the pretty Natalie Portman, sadly her role isn't so outstanding in this movie and another main reason is, we can't get the ticket for Fast and Furious 5, aikss, too last minute. And I did a little shopping today after the 2 weeks restriction :p I did control myself, only allowed myself to grab 2 pieces of clothes, a simple white top and a green miniskirt, hmm.. shopping wise, though i was initially planning to shop for the Mothers' Day present, hehe. Well, i guess i'll do some shopping again before my Phuket trip and the presents for my loved one *winks* So May will be my shopping month, hoorayyyy :)

When everyone is sleeping..

A simple hug, a small talk. That's what made my day.

There is just people in life who can simply make you smile or cry, by doing nothing really special.
xxx

Goodnight my love

Tears filled my eyes when i read your post, i guess God just want me to cry for someone worthwhile instead of someone else. You are still the one closest to my heart, perhaps i have placed you in my heart for years, so you always know me better. With you, i can still standing up again no matter how hard i fell and i know i can always come to you, you'll be opening your arms 24/7, giving me the most comfort hug ever.

How could i still complain about my life when i have you (and my family :p). Life actually treats us well isn't it :)

                                                                                                                With love,